"SOS: The Person I'm Dating Just Updated Their Tinder Profile"
Nothing makes your stomach drop than noticing that the guy you have been dating has updated his profile. I was very honored to be featured in an article in Cosmopolitan about this very subject.
The article starts here:
“There's a cursed territory at the beginning of every potential relationship. It comes at a different time for each couple, but it's shortly after the glow of the first few dates has worn off and you see them for what they really are (or could be): not just a lofty crush, but an actual person you could have actual feelings for. Yikes!!!
To paraphrase the prophet Britney Spears, your romance is not a fling, but not yet a serious, monogamous relationship (at least not until you've had The Talk). This makes it super awkward and potentially hurtful to find out your maybe-partner is still all over the apps, updating their profile and swiping away like they're in a totally different almost-relationship boat from you. It's not cheating, because you're not exclusive...but it's also not not cheating? Confusing!
Because we're all literally making up the rules for this awkward situationship phase as we go, here, three regular people (so you can compare stories) and three relationship experts (so you can maybe learn something) offer their experiences and advice on how to handle catching your not-quite-partner trolling around on dating apps. Godspeed, truly.
Andi Forness Online Dating Coach:
"It really depends on where you are in the relationship, but the main thing is to not react and be calm. If you're only a few months in and you're casually dating, do nothing. But if you're a few months in and have been spending significant time with this person, then this is a great opportunity to be vulnerable and share your desires to see if you're on the same page."
This actually happened to me with Kurt. He showed up on my friends Bumble feed. It was super sucky at first but I took at breath and went through the steps of my 3 Part Convo that inspires guys to step up.
And it worked! We became official after that incident.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think about the subject!